Dear Old Me,
Hi there darlin’, as I begin this letter, I can feel the tension rising in my body, I know that there are important things for me to tell you, and as I tell them to you, I am tapping in to the energy that I used to carry with me and the desperation to find someone to love me.
I know how brave you are, and yet I also know that you are incredibly scared. You try so hard and you give so much and yet, you seem to always fall short. You live two or three different lives at the same time and somehow manage it. You move in between worlds as though you are a ghost, really, there, but never fully there at the same time.
Always in the back of your mind there is a voice that tells you to toughen up while there is another that tells you to bend over backwards for the one you love. You talk often of being out there dancing on your own, and you seem to be assured that you aren’t…and yet….you are. The truth that you can’t face is that the one you love and care for, the one who you have placed at the number one spot in your life…hasn’t done the same for you, and never will. I am really…really sorry to tell you that.
I’m also really sorry to tell you that it won’t be the last time it happens.
You will fall over and over again, you will struggle and there will be many, many tears shed over men who are not deserving of them. You will wonder, time and time again if it’s you, if you are the problem. You will wonder what’s wrong with you and why it happens every time.
And then, you’ll put on a brave face and do it all over again. Click to read more…
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